An Epic (ly bad) Performance

It’s an annual occurrence akin to the spawning of the salmon, the tortoise migration to the Galapagos islands, or Yankees fans coming out of the woodwork when the team makes the playoffs and saying they are “die-hards” – it’s the full-timers vs. part-timers softball game at MCU Park.  Duke vs. North Carolina, Mets vs. Phillies, Ohio State vs. Michigan….they have nothing on this rivalry.  Imagine if you will, working 60 hours a week for minimum wage and being staked with all of the monotonous tasks that your superiors just won’t want to do but having to take it all in stride because well… you are an intern and therefore are at the bottom of the food chain.  But on softball day the interns get their chance to blow off steam and take out their months of frustration on their supervisors…in theory.

Why in theory?  Because for the first time in the history of slow pitch softball there was a shutout.  No, seriously it happened.  The full-time staff , led by starting pitcher Steve Cohen and his blazing fastball kept the interns off balance.  Just to recap, in case you may have misread the previous sentence, in a nine-inning game of slow pitch softball a group of 20 something’s failed to score a single run off of a pitcher whose likeness was captured in this artist’s rendering.

Here is a quick run down of things that have happened since the last time there was a shutout in slow pitch softball: 

The universe was created (The Big Bang)

Dinosaurs roamed the earth

Dinosaurs Died

Dinosaurs Came Back to Life

Well, you get the point.  But bluntly, it was pathetic.  The intern squad has as many hits as LFO (don’t act like you don’t remember that song.

Now here are some highlights of the game:

OFFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE GAME:  Ricky “Crazy Legs” Viola.  In previous blog entries, Ricky waxed poetic about his lightning quick speed.  On Monday afternoon we all saw, what he already knew…he is the fastest man alive.  Ricky, everyone’s favorite POP Wednesday salesman, was the table setter for the full-timers legging out a pair of triples each time scoring or driving in a run.  He was mocked for his defensive shortcomings in the field but without his gazelle like speed…nay, gazelles wish they were as fast as Ricky Viola…who knows what the outcome would have been (okay, we still would have won, they scored no runs)

NEAR DISASTEROUS MOMENT:  So I was playing third base and there was a pop up into foul territory on the third base side.  Now we were playing on the back field, not on the MCU Park field, so foul territory is limited to say the least.  As I drifted over in foul territory I ran pretty much full speed into the dug out fence.  It pretty much looked just like this.

PLAY OF THE GAME:  The Interns lone scoring opportunity came in the fifth inning but thanks to Ian “The Rifleman” McFate and Randy “You Shall Not Pass” Lauwasser the interns were rebuffed.  With two outs and a runner on second base there was a bloop single to right field that Ian collected after a diving attempt by Josh Mevorach came up just short, and fired a laser beam to the plate where Randy was waiting and blocked the plate perfectly while slapping the tag a la Ivan Rodriguez.

BEST PERFORMANCE UNDER PRESSURE:  “Fanny Alexander” Gary Perone.  Replacing a legend is never easy.  Replacing a guy who thinks he’s a legend, and is still haunting you with smack talk months after leaving the Cyclones is even tougher.  Gary performed admirably at shortstop in place of Dave Campanaro, who used to roam the blogosphere as well as shortstop for the full timers, playing a flawless game at short.  But in typical blog style we can’t let Gary feel good about himself.  So prior to  the game when Dave was made aware of Gary stepping into his role as shortstop, he commented that it was like when Manny Alexander took over for Cal Ripken…but only if Manny Alexander was 5 feet tall, had a bubble butt and jimmy dean sausages for fingers.

BEST 0’FER:  Well not really for him, but the rest of us truly enjoyed it.  Chris, better known as Texas, talked more smack than “The U” in the 80s prior to the game, but following an 0’fer and an error or two at shortstop Texas spoke about as much as the beloved longhorn mascot Bevo.   

SHOCK AND AW-FUL:  Ryan, who is a frequent contributor to BC.com, was a close second when it came time to voting for an MVP for the full-timers.  He only lost out to Ricky because, well, he played for the intern team.  Ryan looked like the only baseball he had ever played before was on Playstation.  Some of us actually questioned if perhaps he was allergic to the material that the softball was made out because he seemed to avoid the ball at all costs.  Balls hit shallow, he went back on, balls hit deep he charged…it just didn’t make sense.  Although he was the best dressed player on the field by far - representing with his STJ Swag even down to his red socks - it couldn't hide the giant E that followed him everywhere he went. 

Steve Cohen: A Portrait in Courage

So last night the Cyclones front office staff took a field trip of sorts to the American Cancer Society's Pink & Black Tie Gala.  It was a great event that raised a ton of money in the fight against cancer.  It was also a special evening because one of the honorees at the dinner was our very own General Manager, Steve Cohen.  The ACS honored Steve and the Cyclones for their efforts in giving back to the community through initiatives like the Take Your Base Walk and this year's Big Pitch.  After a stirring speech in which Steve channeled his inner Eva Peron (Not to be confused with Gary Perone), the ACS gave Steve a plaque and very well done portrait of himself to commemorate the occasion.

So this morning when everyone arrived in the office, in place of one of the photos of a former Cyclone that hangs throughout the office we were treated to this:

As you can imagine Steve's choice in artwork has been the talk of the office this morning (mostly because its eyes follow you wherever you go).  It's even given us some inspiration for other artistic expression around the office:

The Coh-na Lisa

The Coh-Stanza

Coney Island Gothic

The Cohen-er Spanial

Allow Me to (Re)Introduce Myself

To borrow the words from another great Brooklyn-ite, Mr. Sean Carter, or as he is known to his friends, Jay-Z, allow me to reintroduce myself! My name is Billy, and quite frankly I’m not that different from Jay-Z.  I grew up in Brooklyn…I’ve been to a Nets game…well, maybe on second thought we’re not as similar as I thought we were. 

So I have been tabbed with the unenviable task of taking over as the blogmaster of the Brooklyn Baseball Blog.  My predecessor, Dave, left me with some VERY crooked shelves, an office that looks like it should have been on that Hoarder’s show on A&E, and blog entries that have been legan…wait for it…dary!

I feel sort of like when Manny Alexander started at shortstop in place of Cal Ripken.  Or in honor of Dave, when Mike Marshall started at 1B for the Mets on Opening Day instead of his beloved Keith Hernandez.  So I could pick up where he left off and make jokes about Gary and his appendages, or talk about Kevin’s award winning smile … but I’ve decided to take the high road and like Robert Frost, I am going to take the road less traveled.

I figured I’d start off by explaining who I am and how I got here.  When I graduated high school in 2001 I was lucky enough to join the Cyclones as an intern, and after each of my four years in college I instinctively returned to Coney Island like a Pacific Salmon.  I was hear for Edgar Rodriguez’s home run on Opening Day 2001.  When the team clinched the playoffs and Ross Peeples was doing the Cha-Cha slide on the field, I was there.  I was here Miguel Pinango’s almost no-hitter.  Put plainly, I’ve seen my share of Cyclones games. 

Then at the end of the 2005 season I headed to State College for the inaugural season of the State College Spikes on the campus of Penn State University.  Talk about a culture shock.  I had never seen a horse without a jockey on its back, and then all of a sudden I found myself living between a stable of horses and a hog farm with pigs roughly the size of a SUV.  I had made it 23 years of my life without knowing what cow-paddy bingo was, and within two weeks in Central PA I was a regular.  But the tailgates were fun and I was introduced to the Penn State Creamery so all-in-all it wasn’t THAT bad.   

So after two seasons with the Spikes – and one trip to the Orange Bowl for the Nittany Lions – I returned to New York and worked with the Mets for the last three years.  Growing up in Bay Ridge, the Mets were my team, so working for the orange and blue was a dream job of sorts.  I got to meet people like Tom Seaver, Darryl Strawberry, Mike Piazza – players whose jerseys I wore with pride when I was growing up, but when Steve came calling with an offer I couldn’t refuse…I had to come back to Brooklyn.

So here it is.  The first entry of the Brooklyn Blog 2.0.  And doesn’t everyone always love something new?   What’s that?  Spinoffs are always terrible?  Ah well…things could be worse.  I could be Gary. (sorry buddy, gotta give the people what they want!)

Jack Voigt Said to Say "So Long," Not "Goodbye"

They come and they go, Hobbs. They come and they go.

Over the last 10 years, I’ve used Max Mercy’s line more times than I can count as players, coaches, managers, mascots (remember Pedro the Pelican?), and colleagues have indeed come and gone.

Now I’m the one doing the going, and wanted to post one last blog entry on my way out.

Some have feared/anticipated my Final Blog Post, worried that I might mention Mahoney’s homicidal dreams, Gary-ality, Steve’s ongoing battles with technology, Ricky stalkeriffic tendencies, Alexa’s electronic dog collar, KJ’s paralyzing germ phobias, and things of that ilk…but I’m not going to do that.

It’s been a great run, and I’ve laughed harder and had more fun than most people should be allowed to while doing their jobs.

I’d especially like to thank those of you who have followed this blog, and been a part of the craziness associated with it. The Blog started out as an online storage shelf for the front office’s inside jokes, and over the years has evolved into a space for the team’s personality to peek out from behind the curtain, and get you in on the fun with us.

I used to convince Steve that just about anything was fair game for blog posts, and quell his anxiety by telling him “don’t worry, no one’s reading this thing besides us.” The truth is, over 50,000 visitors have been a part of our blogalicious efforts, and your feedback, responses, and reactions (even those of shock, horror, or disgust) have kept this thing going. In the minor leagues – especially here at the Cyclones – it’s all about having fun, and not taking yourself (or the rest of the world) too seriously. Hopefully, this blog has helped pull in that direction.

Soon, there will be a new person (or people) filling up this space, and I’ll join you on the other side of the blogosphere, as a reader of the Triple-B, instead of a writer (although I already have some nefarious plans to log on and stir the pot from time to time!).

Until then, thanks again for reading, responding, and being a part of the insanity.

Now cue up some Boyz II Men and hit the lights…

-- Dave

Today, you ride!

Editor's note: I cannot be held responsible for any punctuation (or lack thereof) to follow, any misspelling, or any misuse of the word "seen." This unedited post was written in its entirety by our own Gary J. Perone: 

Well it is official; the blog master will be leaving us today or tomorrow (who knows). I feel it is fitting that I address the blog for the first time, since I have always been the BUTT of all jokes! (figured Dave would have said something like that)

The Wordsmith, the Self Proclaimed Genius who looks like Brad Pitt who once declared his body a temple is leaving after 10 seasons. With just a few originals left from our inaugural season (IN ORDER: STEVE, KJ, SHARON, and MYSELF), Dave has been the lifeline and heartbeat to anyone who has ever heard of the Brooklyn Cyclones, he has been the guy who has worked with every player who has worn a Brooklyn Jersey, every ticket holder who receives a letter, and he has entertained us with his witty promotional ideas and pranks. He is widely respected by the organization, the New York Penn League and Minor League Baseball. 

To know Dave is to Love (or Hate) him. I remember when Dave first started with the team he walked into the trailer, and said “Where do I sit”; of course everyone looked at each other and did not answer him back, so Dave and I became Bunk Desk Partners until we moved into the Stadium. We had a little history before I would see him years later, Dave attended Bishop Ford and played baseball and came on our trip to Florida when we played in Baseball City back in the day. His father was my High School teacher or whatever he did at the school, so sharing a desk with Dave and going through this experience with him was exciting (a little too close for comfort) but fun. Especially since we were both big Mets Fans…

Over time we have shared our views, good times, bad times and talked about how we loved pulling tarp, picking up fireworks, standing in the rain in section 21, and of course the Best First Baseman in Baseball Conversation, His being Keith Hernandez, mine of course being the “TOP FIRST BASEMAN RATED BY MLB NETWORKS PRIME 9 SHOW IN THE 80’ s Donnie Baseball”, roommates when we went to the Winter Meetings (Because Steve was afraid to put me and Kevin in the same room) and the personal list goes on and on. And of course him always finding a way to give me the business on this very blog and during lunch… not in a bad way of course!! 

He has also had some memorable moments, like taking batting practice off of Mex, (that was great he was like a little kid), playing 24 hours of baseball (going to the hospital), dressing up like his favorite superhero, justifying that it is normal to have a joust on the field after a game, playing bocce ball with Steve and his favorite Cyclones Manager TJ, watching his intern take back a "silver spoon" to Gargiulos, seeing that same intern (Jay) in a big blow up plastic Old Navy Beach Ball, watching the guy take out the toilet bowl from the trailer and Marty saying “ Hey I used to go to the bathroom in that thing”, the Flabaga Story at John’s Deli, the trip to Tri City where we were rained out for three days, and we bought a whole wardrobe for 2 cents at Steve and Barry’s, taking the Boys to MTV, working with 86 Mets, and seeing the team that he has nurtured for the last ten seasons become one of the most talked about team in Minor League Baseball.

It has been said by many people that one of the most exciting things to ever happen in there life (outside of getting married, having children, or winning money on a scratch off because we need the money) was Bringing Baseball Back to Brooklyn in 2001. As we get older things change and people change, however to experience that MAGIC was truly amazing. 

Is he a genius? Maybe to his daughter. But to me and millions of fans who have been associated with this organization since the inception, he is a person we call mentor (Billy, Jay, and the countless others), innovator (great promotions, Bellies and Baseball, OK Jersey Sure?), son, brother, husband, great father and most of all friend.

While he has taken more shots at me, then the Nets have taken all season, he will be sorely missed. 

While we close another chapter in the book of Cyclones history, Dave will forever be a person who made this place what it is today. 

In the words of Fonzie, “Today You Ride” . We wish you, your family, and whatever your dogs name is the best of luck…

-- Gary