Wednesday, October 15, 2008

All I Really Need To Know...

With apologies to the book that made the term famous, all I ever really needed to know, I learned from Ms. Pac Man.

Valuable zen-like life lessons such as:
You have to keep moving to succeed
Sometimes you have to go backwards to move forward
Don't look back...something might be chasing you
We all battle the ghosts of our past
It's never good to be cornered with no way out

Lessons in morality like:
Greed kills
There is no right or wrong...only right or left (and up or down)
Mixed messages on risk-taking:
No guts, no glory
Sometimes, you just have to take the money and run
Dietary advice:
Fruit is good for you
Bananas are the nectar of the gods
Pretzels should be considered fruit
Relationship advice:

The more you chase a girl, the faster she will run away
When you stop chasing her, she'll chase you
It's never good to be cornered with no way out
Thank you, Ms. Pac Man, Pac Man, Junior, and even you, Inky, Blinky, Pinky, and Clyde. (And especially you, Aardvark Amusement, for giving fans the chance to win the actual arcade game for FREE when they play it at the ballpark.) Without you all, I don't know where I'd be today...besides doing something productive, that is.

-- Dave

Friday, October 10, 2008

Things I Learned at Work Today...

  • I might be the best Ms. Pac Man player on the eastern seaboard
  • Steve does not enjoy listening to popular 1980's video games while on conference calls
  • A good flashlight costs more than $25
  • Steve does a spot-on Gregory Hines tap-dancing impersonation
  • Gregory Peck was not a tap dancer
  • No one ever told Gary not to wear white after Labor Day
  • No one ever told Gary that dark colors are slimming
  • Rishi hasn't worked here in over two months
  • Kevin enjoys torturing people with dead rats
  • "Flat Rat" is probably not a good promo item for '09
  • You are only supposed to consume 2,000 calories a day
  • My standard lunch contains approximately 5,000 calories
  • Some bloggers earn over $75,000 a year
  • It's hard to host a rave with no electricity
  • There are 251 days until Opening Day (unless the schedule changes again)
-- Dave