Into the Woods

From time to time, Cyclones staffers head "out and about" into the streets of Brooklyn in a grassroots effort to remind fans about specific upcoming events and games, or just to get out into the community. (Side note: you can go "out," and you can go "about," but it's only when you combine the two that you reach maximum efficiency.) The o&a exercise is a good way for us to put a finger on the pulse of the fans, and put names and faces on the organization for those who may not be familiar with us. Going out and about, however, is not without its dangers. For example, Steve Cohen and John Haley bypassed the "mean streets" of Brooklyn and hoofed it into the wilds of Prospect Park yesterday and what follows is a non-embellished account of the conversations that transpired:

(Phone rings)
Me: Brooklyn Cyclones, can I help you?
Steve: Dave? Is that you? Oh, thank God! I have to talk fast! John and I are lost in the woods and I don't know if I'll ever make it back...tell everyone I love them."
Me: Woods? Steve? Didn't you just leave the ballpark like a half-hour ago?
Steve: We're somewhere inside Prospect Park. We've been walking forever and we can't find our way out.
Me: What entrance did you go in? It's usually pretty easy to...
Steve: I think someone's coming! I have to go! John, get down!
(hangs up)

I thought to myself, (Self,) "That was strange." And then about 45 seconds later:

(Phone rings)
Me: Brooklyn Cyclones, can I help you?
Steve: John's passed out. I'm carrying him on my back!
Me: John Haley? You're carrying John Haley? I don't think so.
Steve: Well, not carrying him, exactly, but kind of pointing him in the right direction.
Me: OK, where are you guys? What do you see?
Steve: Trees...lots of trees. And creatures of the forest...they're everywhere!
Me: "Creatures of the forest?" Who are you, Snow White? You're in Brooklyn, for crying out loud. They're probably just squirrels.
Steve: Well, yeah. But really big ones. And they're making some creepy noises.
Me: Are you by the waterfalls?
Steve: Waterfalls! I think I hear them! John! Follow the rapids...they'll lead us to the shores, and to civilization!
Me: Not really. But if you just pick a direction and walk that way, you should be out pretty soon. The park's not really that big.
Steve: Not that big??? We've been going in circles for hours! It's like the Blair Witch Project in here!

(On a side note, with a little research I've since discovered that Prospect Park is actually 585 acres, or, roughly less than one square mile, according to this conversion)

Me: Just calm down and tell me if you see any landma...
Steve: Hang on...I know where we are. There's the Commerce Bank and the Parade Grounds. There's my car. OK, we'll be back in a little while.
Me: You gotta be kidding m...
(hangs up)

I think all went well from that point on, although, come to think of it, I haven't seen Steve since that last conversation.

Anyway, next time you see one of us "out and about," stop by, say hello, and grab a pocket schedule or two. And if the person you run into looks like this, please give Steve directions back to KeySpan Park and tell him we miss him.

(The preceding is based on true events.)

-- Dave