Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Into the Woods

The following is based on true events.

From time to time, Cyclones staffers head "out and about" into the streets of Brooklyn in a grassroots effort to remind fans about specific upcoming events and games, or just to get out into the community. (Side note: you can go "out," and you can go "about," but it's only when you combine the two that you reach maximum efficiency.)

It's a good way for us to put a finger on the pulse of the fans, and promote the organization with face-toface interaction. Going out and about, however, is not without its dangers.

For example, Steve Cohen and John Haley bypassed the "mean streets" of Brooklyn and hoofed it into the wilds of Prospect Park yesterday and what follows is an unembellished account of the conversations that transpired:

(Phone rings)
Me: Brooklyn Cyclones, can I help you?
Steve: Dave? Is that you? Oh, thank God! I have to talk fast! John and I are lost in the woods and I don't know if I'll ever make it back...tell everyone I love them.
Me: Woods? Steve? Is that you? Didn't you just leave the ballpark like 20 minutes ago?
Steve: We're somewhere inside Prospect Park. We've been walking forever and we can't find our way out.
Me: What entrance did you go in? It's usually pretty easy to...
Steve: I think someone's coming! I have to go! John, get down!
(hangs up)

Hmmm...strange. Oh, well. Back to Netfli...

(Phone rings)
Me: Brooklyn Cyclones, can I help you?
Steve: John's passed out. I'm carrying him on my back!
Me: John Haley? You're carrying 6'5", 240-pound John Haley? I don't think so.
Steve: Well, not carrying him, exactly, but kind of pointing him in the right direction.
Me: OK, where are you guys? What do you see?
Steve: Trees...lots of trees. And creatures of the forest...they're everywhere!
Me: "Creatures of the forest?" Who are you, Snow White? You're in Brooklyn.  They're probably just squirrels.
Steve: Well, yeah. But big ones. And they're making some creepy noises.
Me: Are you by the waterfalls?
Steve: Waterfalls! Yes! I think I hear them! John! Follow the rapids...they'll lead us to the shores, and to civilization!
Me: Well, not really. But if you just pick a direction and walk that way, you should be out pretty soon. The park's not really that big.
Steve: Not that big??? We've been going in circles for hours! It's like the Blair Witch Project in here!

(I've since discovered that Prospect Park is actually 585 acres, or, roughly less than one square mile.)

Me: Just calm down and tell me if you see any landmar...
Steve: Wait...Hang on...I know where we are. There's the Commerce Bank and the Parade Grounds. There's my car. OK, we'll be back in a little while.
Me: You gotta be kidding m...
Steve: (hangs up)

I think all went well from that point on. Although, come to think of it, I haven't seen Steve since that last conversation.

Anyway, next time you see one of us "out and about," stop by, say hello, and grab a pocket schedule or two. And if the person you run into looks like this, please give Steve directions back to KeySpan Park and tell him we miss him.

-- Dave


Lisa Gav said...

I don't know, I kinda have to side with Steve Cohen on this one - I was in Prospect Park for the first time on the 4th of July, and it was HUGE!
Nothing like Brighton Beach and Coney Island, which is a long stretch, but way easier to navigate!
PS-thanks for the great laugh!!

Metro Card said...

Hey everybody. If you’re heading to a Cyclones home game any weekend this season, I want to tell you about a little discount the Cyclones are offering. I work for MTA NYC Transit, and as part of a MetroCard Deal promotion, if take the subway or bus to KeySpan Park and you mention MetroCard while purchasing tickets to any weekend home game, you’ll get 20% off Field Box seats, and 25% off Bleacher seats. Easy way to save a few bucks for later on at Nathan’s