Saturday, June 28, 2008

It Ain't Easy Being a Superhero

Tonight is Superhero Night at the ballpark...one of my favorites. I'm a closet comic book geek, and I'm officially outing myself. I hide it fairly well, but I also know the name of Batman's dog (Ace), which alternate Earth the Justice Society was formed on (Earth-Two), and the origin of just about every hero you can name.

I mean, what could be better than being at the ballpark, and being Batman? Two childhood fantasies rolled into one!

But I have to tell you, being a superhero isn't as easy as it looks. Sure, I have the cowl and the scowl, the flowing cape, and the bulging muscles (courtesy of some well-placed styrofoam).

Aaaaand that's about where it ends.

I have no answer for the dozens of kids on the field who scream at me to "do something super," and tell me -- with disgust in their voices and their eyes -- that I'm not the real Batman...and even if I was, Wolverine's better and could kick my butt.

Every part of my costume from the utility belt down is way too tight (and I'm thanking Bob Kane profusely for imagining a cape when he created the Dark Knight, to hide as much as possible).

And sure, ol' Bats has had to deal with family tragedy, battle the most nefarious villains of all time, and save Gotham from certain doom time and time again...but has he ever had to pull tarp? I don't think so. The sweat, the mud, the boos from the unhappy fans, the worry that my aforementioned cape would get rolled up along with the tarp and take me with it like a scene out of Bugs Bunny, and the general embarrassment of thousands of fans watching the whole scenario is enough to send even the likes of Bruce Wayne scurrying to hide out in the Batcave.

So next time you're reading those comics and thinking about how great it would be to be faster than a speeding bullet or able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, think about Superhero Night with the Cyclones, and be careful what you wish for!

And next time you see a superhero (or a pirate, or a medieval knight, or any of the other one-in-a-million sights you see at a Cyclones game) running around the field or pulling tarp in the rain, send a few cheers our way.

And for Pete (Ross') sake, keep that kryptonite behind some lead, wouldja?
-- Dave

2 comments:

The Mets Police said...

Cool Blog. Just discovered it.

Von Allan said...

I kinda hope my own Ottawa Rapidz do this kind of promotion down the road. It sounds really fun!

And hopefully the comics connection means you get a chance to swing by Rocketship down on Smith Street. It's a really nifty little comic shop that I have a soft spot for.