Thursday, April 2, 2009

10 (or so) Things to Know

Andrew Stern began a part-time position with the Cyclones in January, and he already fits in well with the staff (believe me, that is not a compliment, or an endorsement of his mental state of well-being). Today, he breaks into the big-time with his first blog entry. Here it is -- the Top 10 Things You Should Know About The Cyclones, as witnessed by Andrew in his first few months with the team, and his intensive studies of the club's recent history. A word of advice...don't believe everything you read (and Andrew, don't believe everything we tell you):

  • Last summer, 11 of the Mets’ top 15 draft picks played in Brooklyn, including first pick, first-baseman Ike Davis; second pick, shortstop Reese Havens; and third pick (and Sterling Award winner), pitcher Brad Holt.
  • The Cyclones have infiltrated virtually every internet social networking venue known to man. Look for us on YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, and of course, here at the Blog. Up next… and Glogging!
  • We've hired the San Diego Chicken as a consultant to give closed-door pep talks to Sandy and Pee Wee before every home game.
  • On April 19th, we are hosting an Open House in which fans can take a tour of the ballpark. Those in attendance can also check out views and purchase Season Tickets or Mini-Plans for the exact seats that they want.
  • For just one game this summer, we are changing our name. On June 23rd we will become the Baracklyn Cyclones, as we salute the 44th president of the United States with baseball, entertainment, and of course bobbleheads.
  • We are saluting pregnant women this season! Why? Because someone should. And besides, being pregnant is tough, especially in the summer! The ladies need something to look forward to...besides the birth of the child they are carrying, that is.
  • We are planning to set a world record this summer. More on this in the near future.
  • We have enough creative Mini Plan options to satisfy even the pickiest fan. And I know from picky fans...I monitor the general e-mailbox.
  • Through much research it has been determined that a hot dog and a soda at a Cyclones game can prevent blindness. The same study found that buying a few ‘Grub Club’ Mini Plans can lead to 20/10 vision. Don’t believe us? You should. It’s science. You’ll see...that is, unless you don’t come to Cyclones games, because then I guess you might not see.
  • We've scheduled so many fireworks shows this summer that the Brooklyn fire marshal is on Steve Cohen’s speed dial. So many shows that the 4th of July will look like snakes and sparklers in comparison. So many shows that there will be enough explosives here to make Wile E. Coyote blush.
  • 2009 Cyclones ticket stubs are redeemable for free admission to the Taj Mahal in India.
  • The fantasy baseball phenomenon was invented by a couple of Cyclones fans who were upset that they weren’t managing the Cyclones.
  • Last year the Cyclones had the top two starting pitchers in the NYPL in Brad Holt and Chris Schwinden. Holt was 5-3 with a 1.87 ERA and 96 strikeouts. Schwinden was 4-1 with a 2.01 ERA and 84 strikeouts. Both were NYPL All-Stars.
  • June 21st is not only Father’s Day, but we’re also hosting a wedding on the field before the game. (“Well, candlesticks always make a nice gift.” – Larry Hockett, Bull Durham)
  • In 2009, as always…The Cyclones ARE Brooklyn!
-- Andrew

Editor's Note: Yes, there are 15 items in Andrew's Top 10...I told you he fits in nicely.

No comments: