An Offer You Can't Refuse

From the Unproductive Monday Department:

Our lunch conversations usually revolve around two things (at least, two that can be published) -- movies and co-workers. And so, Ricky, KJ, Liz and I (mostly Ricky) today decided to cast our colleagues (and ourselves) in a remake of The Godfather.

With apologies to the talented individuals who made the original, here is a new cast list for a new take on the classic:

Steve Cohen as Vito Corleone -- Who else could Steve play? He's the man in charge around here...and he occasionally makes us kiss his ring when submitting reimbursement forms or requesting time off. Plus, (Contractual obligation alert! Contractual obligation alert!) he sort of reminds you of a young Brando, doesn't he? (If i don't say stuff like that from time to time, he's shutting me down. I know this.)

Kevin Mahoney as Santino "Sonny" Corleone -- Too perfect. A hot-headed number two man who's looking for new ways to improve the business and looking for a good fight (and not neccesarily in that order).

Chris Nervegna as Michael Corleone -- Dark, mysterious, and none too verbose, Chris will especially excel in the scenes in which Michael's mouth is wired shut.

Dave Campanaro as Tom Hagen -- Tasked with the family's public image, the consigliere also advises the men at the top and watches over the Corleone secrets (sometimes blogging about them against their wishes).

Sharif Soliman as Jack Woltz -- The most famous scene of the movie will never be seen the same way again. ("What is this in my bed? A head? A horse head? Who put this thing in here? Did somebody put this horse head in my bed while I was sleeping? These guys are trying to put one over on me again.")

Kevin Ponte as Fredo Corleone -- Kind of looks like him, no?

Gary Perone as Johnny Fontane -- Gary never misses a chance to sing, so the wedding scene is perfect for him. Plus, Steve has been known to slap him and tell him to act like a man.

Joe the Electrician/Fireman as Captain McCluskey -- I'm not sure why, but this just seemed funny.

Vladimir Lipsman as Luca Brasi -- The big guy is an enforcer who goes missing for a while, and eventually "sleeps with the fishes." Vlad has a taste for tilapia. Close enough.

Ricky Viola and Kevin Jimenez as Sal Tessio and Peter Clemenza -- Two loyal soldiers, Tessio (Ricky) is later rubbed out for some shady dealings and Clemenza (KJ) never forgets about food, regardless of the situation ("leave the gun, take the cannoli"). Sounds about right.

That's all we have for now, but I'm sure more will come to mind. If you weren't cast in The Godfather, Cyclones Style, breathe easy for now, but watch your back. It's a trilogy, you know.

-- Dave

P.S. For an offer you really can't refuse, check out the Nathan's 4-pack combo meal deal on Sunday, June 28th. Nice segue, huh?