A Party Even the Poopers Will Enjoy

Whenever I am asked to plan a party or event (which is never), I automatically envision the worst case scenario: my first six months of socializing in Germany, where I resided for a few years post-college. (Why? Just ‘cause.) Before I finally became decently fluent, my conversations with the Germans at social events were mostly made up of my awkward attempts at jokes…followed inevitably by painful, echoing silences…which were, in turn, punctuated by coughs and the sound of cars driving by outside, blasting German techno and lending an ironic soundtrack to the whole scene. (Come to think of it, it’s actually not too different from many of my conversations now, minus the German techno.) I would end the evening congratulating myself on yet another fait accompli.

In short, I am an event planner’s worst nightmare, and like it or not, there are plenty of us out there who threaten to ruin your party dynamic.

The cringe-inducing picture of underdeveloped social finesse mentioned above has inspired my latest blog entry/argument as to why you might consider renting a suite or party deck with the Brooklyn Cyclones, should you be in charge of planning an event. In no particular order, here is my list of reasons:

1. If it is a company event, you know that there are co-workers who don’t get along/work in different departments and don’t know what to say to each other/would never otherwise hang out with each other but feel obliged to do so to show their boss a team attitude. In such cases, we provide T-shirt tosses, mascot appearances, between-inning contests, and, oh yes, a baseball game, to avoid any uncomfortable silences or forced, disingenuous chitchat. Ditto for an outing of friends coming from different circles of acquaintances/sides of the track/echelons of society. It’s a little known fact that minor league baseball is the great equalizer.
2. If it is a family event, you can expect that an argument between your dad and your Uncle Larry will erupt at some point. We will mollify everyone by arriving with free Cyclones hats for every person in your suite.
3. If some of your party prefer indoor pampering, our suites come with air-conditioning, catering, and walls. If you have outdoorsy-people in your group, we have balcony seats with every suite; plus, these people are welcome to help us pull tarp in questionable weather.
4. If we have questionable weather, the most comfortable people during rain delays are those who have rented a suite. Not that we ever have rain delays.
5. If it’s a bachelor party, we provide your man of the hour with first pitch at a professional baseball game. And alcohol. (But not during the first pitch.)
6. Everyone will congratulate you on planning an appropriately quirky and original event. (And one that is not arduously and pretentiously so, such as a scavenger hunt in Central Park that takes forever in 90 degree weather and has infuriatingly impossible clues with stupid puns referring to Matisse’s earlier work…but I digress.)
7. If you are lucky, I will come by and check on your suite, likely armed with a bad joke. Or dressed in an ill-fitting, promotion-related costume. And then those of you who felt awkward around each other will be able to unite and talk about me when I leave your suite.

There are endless reasons to come party with the Cyclones in style, but I think you get the idea. We pull out all the stops to entertain you and sacrifice every vestige of personal dignity so that you don’t have to. We are the perfect remedy to every potentially undesirable social scenario and the perfect catalyst for the party of the year!

Email me to book your party today!

-- Joyce
joyce@brooklyncyclones.com